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JOMO – The Other Side

The first time I saw the acronym JOMO, my brow furrowed as I audibly said “huh?”. I’d heard of FOMO (the Fear Of Missing Out), in fact I’d spent years in that space.

I thought JOMO had to be a play on that phrase and was so intrigued, I had to read on. And so I did…

JOMO - the Joy of Missing Out

Quite the opposite of FOMO and I loved it!

FOMO surfaced as a result of comparing everyone else’s seemingly glorious lives to our sadly ordinary ones, often on social media where, let’s be real -  truth hides in the shadows. And it goes beyond the digital world.

Before it even had a name, my FOMO days were filled with thoughts of how I should be and what I should be doing.

I kept my schedule packed – I couldn’t miss out on anything!  I left no time to just BE.

All that anxiety was pretty much rooted in a fear of what others thought about me.

It was only in the past few years that I started to wave buh bye to FOMO. I felt I could finally say “No” and trust myself.

I remember the first time I blocked my schedule, carefully typing “My Time” with a smile on my face, as I felt a weight lift and my shoulders relax.

And now I’ve discovered that feeling has a name: JOMO – the Joy of Missing Out. (I love the sound of it!)

For me, it’s really a joy of discovery, of peace, of time.

Sure, sometimes an invite crops up and I happily change my schedule to “Dinner with …”, but other times, I say “Thanks, but I already have plans” and it isn’t a lie.

I do have plans – to do whatever I want and practice some well-deserved self-care.

I saw this on Facebook a few months ago (sorry, not sure where it originated) and love it. It’s so me and my JOMO!

child+punish+adult+goals.jpg



Have a question or comment? Please reply/leave below and feel free to share this with anyone who you think might enjoy it.

 

Wishing you much JOMO!

Karen

 

P.S. Does FOMO permeate your soul? Does the mere thought of JOMO cause anxiety – no way I can do that! As a survivor – I can help.

An Emotional Holiday Season

"It’s been an emotional holiday season for me. This is the first holiday season without either of my parents.  😕 This was such a good reminder today, as I added to the list how grateful I am to have had them as long as I did.  🤗"

Yandy Smith -  original post - Facebook September 17, 2016 

Yandy Smith -  original post - Facebook September 17, 2016 

This was an impulsive Facebook post I recently made. The image I’d seen over a year ago, a re-posting from someone named Yandy Smith (who I don't know, but just happened to see the post and it really resonated with me.)

When it recently popped up as Facebook memory, it struck an even greater emotional chord. Tears and tissues were the order of the day, as I'd hear my parent’s favorite Christmas songs or pull out a holiday decoration.

My emotional parade started just before Thanksgiving as my siblings and I were making our holiday plans. This year there was no need to worry about how a frail, unsteady body would navigate the stairs into my sister’s house, and no discussion about whether we’d need to adjust our favorite foods to accommodate feeble appetites and dentures.

I faced the reality both my parents were gone.

After the Facebook posting, I received such a tremendous outpouring of support - from casual acquaintances to close friends, some responding via Facebook and others reaching out privately.

Some offered the solace of their experience, sharing that my grief will ease with each passing year. Others shared their own grief, as they too were experiencing their first year without someone beloved.

It’s very unlike me to make such a personal post. I’ve always felt my place was to offer inspiration, not share my sadness, and this was on the edge for me.

I’m so glad I did make the post. It was good for me to remember I’m not alone, and by sharing and taking comfort in others caring, the grief softens.  

During this special time of the year, I wish you a truly joyous season.

Time to cherish those you love

True connection and authentic conversation

Moments for personal reflection

 

Wishing you a wonderful holiday season!

Karen

 

P.S. Have a question or comment? Please reply/leave below and feel free to share this with anyone who you think might enjoy it.